Never let anyone tell you that cats are immune to New Year’s resolutions.
The moment applications opened to drive the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, the Tabby’s Place cats instantly, collectively developed goals.
Resolved to support them, I have just signed 100 reference letters.
Now we need to master parallel parking. But first, a few resolutions.
Resolved: to radiate love like Rashida radiates rainbow hair: in all directions, without exception.
Resolved: to rescue cats who will rescue us in ways we can scarcely fathom. (Since this is Tabby’s Place, this one’s a slam dunk.)
Resolved: to raise the vibration from Ringoes, NJ to Romania by the sheer force of our cats’ panache. (Slam dunk #2.)
Resolved: to be more catlike. (Now we’re getting aspirational.)
Resolved: to store up the jam of joy for the cold and bold days ahead. Grab a spoon for January’s jelly jar:
Arrived: Bonifacia, Kennedy, Tim the Toolman, Bentley, Doodles, Mr. Mustache, Pickles, Goober, Prescott, Hoopla Green, Ginger, Josie, Melee, Princess Peach
Adopted: Hermione, Dolores, Callie, Bard, Ranger, Tanker, Harry, Othello, Muffin, Marv, Chess, Monk, Rogue, Disco (yes that Disco, yes fire up the light-up floor), Linnie, Miriel YES THAT MIRIEL, Doby YES THAT DOBY YES I AM YELLING, Oscar YES THAT OSCAR YES REALLY YES NOW SING-YELLING, Goober, Charly (third time’s the charm…ly), Roswell
Promoted to Heaven: Bobby, Bjork, Glenn
Which he does. Almost as much as 100 cats love the idea of driving 100 Wienermobiles from coast to coast.
Resolved: to fill this February with frankfurters and friendship. Let’s ride.