If I were to hold public office, my first act would be to end war and redirect every battle-dollar to feeding everyone of every species, preferably at the same table, whilst we all sing ballads and talk tenderly about our edifying differences. My second act would be to mandate that we all use the word […]

Dear old fears

Quick. Tell me what you were scared of on April 29, 2021. Maybe you were afraid that the pestilence would pounce upon you. Maybe you were afraid that the cat you’d just trundled to the vet would not forgive you. Maybe you were afraid that Ozark would never return for a fourth season.


When my beloved snow angel cat died, I grasped at plush through the fog. Specifically, I found myself bringing home a very large stuffed lion from the grocery store. Like my Pippa, it would sleep in my arms and catch my tears in its fur. Like my Pippa, it would be approximately six pounds of […]

Be the beauty

Let the record show that 120 cats and one Development Director have a violent loathing for the song “At Seventeen.” Love is most definitely not reserved for beauty queens, or cartoon princesses, or anyone other than everyone. Including one generous gent. Actually, two.