Epilogues: February 2024
Cats excel at entitlement. Cats excel at love. In other words: the sun has not set on Valentine’s Day at Tabby’s Place.
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Cats excel at entitlement. Cats excel at love. In other words: the sun has not set on Valentine’s Day at Tabby’s Place.
Happy First and Last February Second of 2024! Maurice and his confrères welcome you to the new. Cats love new years. They love them so much, they celebrate them on a rolling basis. But cats hate resolutions. They hate them so much, they are here to save us from them, at great personal cost.
So here we stand, at the end and the beginning. Cats know that there are only ever beginnings. Cats know many things beyond our reach. But they are gentle, and permit us to believe in figments — endings, the concept of “age appropriate,” the existence of credible vegan cheese — as long as necessary. Perhaps […]
November has a rickety reputation among cats. Braggarts belch about turkeys, but no Butterballs roll into the Tabby’s Place lobby. (Prescott checked under all the chairs. None.) There are credible rumors of something entitled “stuffing,” but limited evidence beyond garlicky human kisses. It’s almost enough to make a cat stop giving thanks.
Oh, kittens. The situation is dire. The cats have called a special session of Tabby’s Place Parliament. The issue at hand: whether they can forgive us for October 2023.
The Tabby’s Place cats voted, and it was unanimous. October is the best month. It’s Tabby’s Place’s anniversary. It’s so spooky and shivery that “cuddling cats” becomes non-negotiable. It’s when the world turns the color of processed cheese.
There must be some hidden hoard of helium in the walls of Tabby’s Place. How else to explain the ups and downs of August, our hearts bobbing like airships?
As August ambushes July with a Super Soaker, we’re feeling ruffled in Ringoes. Cats are reasonable. They do not expect life to be a constant stream of meat products. They accept that sometimes the best they can do is a burger made of twenty slices of cheese. But no one at Tabby’s Place can accept […]
Ask the experts: did we fail or prevail at Tabby’s Place this June? Any month involving the Strawberry Moon would seem a guaranteed success. But the experts are not so sure.
T.S. Eliot, who first discovered that every cat has three names, declared April to be “the cruelest month.” Clearly he did not know the names of Mayhem, Crumpet, or Patches.