Oh, kittens! If ever we needed cats, it’s now.
We are in Olympics withdrawal.
Target is trying to boondoggle us into believing we are behind on holiday shopping.
And no matter where we hide, it is still an election year.
It’s enough to make you wonder if you can pass as five years old and board the kindergarten bus.
But we have something better than naptime to get us through.
We have cats.
We have Tabby’s Place cats, the reigning global champions of gladness.
If you’re still tracking medals, we have saved over one hundred cats from just two summertime situations. My coworkers tend to look away or administer a stern noogie if I call them “heroes,” but I am bound to journalistic integrity.
Our staff saved over one hundred cats from two sprawling, sickly colonies.
They cupped oxygen masks over gasping whiskers after hours.
They scoffed at the theory that humans require sleep.
They engaged in bottle-feeding, heat-supporting, and rearranging heaven and earth for the sake of one life at a time.
Our volunteers fostered families and orphans, the ailing and the outrageous.
Our donors dreamed while they were awake, turning love into fat futures for the frail and fading.
Our survivors will never remember their emaciated era.
Our world will never be the same.
So, although we can no longer count on Snoop Dogg to commentate upon badminton, we have all we need to clobber our bad days.
No night is too long for love.
And no August was more auspicious than ours:
Arrived: Susan, Gordon, Tibby, Guacamole, Hummus, Triscuit, Salami, Tapenade, Squidward, Sandy, Gary, Spongebob, Michaelangelo, Hydrogen, Helium, Proton, Neutron, Electron, Veruca, Vegas, Verita, Virgo, Vaughn, Vernon, Willie, Bello, Zinc, Cobalt, Boron, Tungsten, Quark, Fangs, Beluga, Chiclet, Aluminum, Chromium, Gallium, Eowyn, Skip-It, Nerf, Rubiks, Popples, Polaroid, Tetris, Corn, Chef Boyardee, Spaghetti O’s, Spam, Tomato, Asparagus, Bok Choy, Azura, Namira, Meridia, Hircine, Vaermina … phew! Did I tell you these colonies were colossal, or what?
Adopted: Kuchen; Oliver; Gimbap & Gochujang (together); Worm &
Panthera (together); Dali; Truvy & Clairee (together); Wybie & Bobinsky (together); Strudel & Spaetzel (together); Amaryllis (YES THAT AMARYLLIS); Doenjang & Bibimbap (together); Geena; Napkin; Verne & Pelican (together); Borelly; Harrington & Chiron (together); Biela; Stewart (pictured in top banner); Fennel; Lentil; Sandy & Gary (together); Emmy; Gwendolyn
Promoted to the Community Room: Monet, Smokey
Promoted to the Lobby: Monet (now seeking further promotion to her forever home), Trent
Promoted to Heaven: Tibby, Guacamole, Angelo, Charles, Eowyn
And so we kiss September on the forehead.
It has a yellow leaf in one hand and the Linda Fund in the other.
The cats are counting on us to turn it all gold by the time October arrives.
What do you say, kittens?