She did not write with fine point pens. She did not dress in age-appropriate beige. She will not let the colors fade.
Holy moly, humans. We’re a holey bowl of needers, aren’t we? Fragile doilies. Patchwork jeans. Slim slices of Swiss. But we are surrounded by creatures who consider themselves the living equivalents of chunk cheese. They are more than happy to patch our holes with melty mercy.
Cats do not entertain our view of failure. This is appropriate, since no cat since the dawn of the species has experienced a single failure.
It would take all the lexicons of all the known, unknown, and dead languages that ever were, are, or will be to describe the wonder that is Lynette, gourmand and kitty extraordinaire. Lynette is extra: extra sweet, extra chatty, extra silly, and very extra interested in food – all…of…the…food.
You can’t put stickers on a cat. Okay, technically, you can, but you shouldn’t, not even when it would be super helpful to keep track of over a hundred cats (QR codes, anybody?). They certainly don’t need any additional decoration. They certainly would not benefit from a coating of Lisa Frank collectible stickers. The adhesives […]
It is a great scandal, but not everyone is equally obsessed with every cat. Fortunately, every cat is flourescently obsessed with catself. And that is sufficient.
Never let anyone tell you that cats are immune to New Year’s resolutions. The moment applications opened to drive the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, the Tabby’s Place cats instantly, collectively developed goals. Resolved to support them, I have just signed 100 reference letters.
You do not have to like the same things that “everyone” likes: avocado (tastes like phlegm), Method cleaning products (45 subtle variations of Motel Bathroom Scent), games in which balls are hurled, hooped, or walloped (professional backgammon, anyone?). You do not have to hate the same things that “everyone” hates: candy corn (tiny sunrise triangles […]