Kitty LeFey’s Cosmos: No, No, Lynette!

Kitty LeFey’s Cosmos: No, No, Lynette!

It would take all the lexicons of all the known, unknown, and dead languages that ever were, are, or will be to describe the wonder that is Lynette, gourmand and kitty extraordinaire.

Lynette is extra: extra sweet, extra chatty, extra silly, and very extra interested in food – all…of…the…food.

Unlike Fenek, it is very difficult to dissuade Lynette from the notion that all of the food that comes into the lounge is for her. Fenek is interested. Fenek will sneak a peek and may even try to snag a taste. But, aside from tuna (do NOT bring a tuna sandwich to Tabby’s Place!), he can be put off relatively easily as long as he gets plenty of pets.

Not so Lynette.

During Volunteer Appreciation Week, which typically becomes a circular celebration of mutual admiration, there is always an excess of treats ladening the tables in the lounge. From bagels to chocolate covered pretzels to cakes and more, something new is brought in each day…FOR…THE…VOLUNTEERS.

No, no, Lynette!

Lynette thinks the scones are for her. Lynette thinks the cookies are for her. Lynette thinks the cream cheese is for her (and she actually has managed to make some of that her own). Lynette also thinks the donuts are for her, and she has reportedly put up quite a fight when she helped herself to one that was very necessarily taken away.

No, no, Lynette!

You cannot have donuts. (But, maybe you should have been named Nanette.)

Lynette is diabetic. Not that any cat should have donuts, but that’s a double “no” for Lynette and all of the other lounge cats too. But, Lynette sings her song, “Whatever Lynette wants, Lynette gets!”

No, no, Lynette!

You’ve got the wrong musical number and very different aims.

Lynette is unabashedly undeterred from her singular goal of helping herself to any food that is insufficiently protected. She also has no sense of personal space.

Unlike Shifty, who politely requests attention and who only expects his own food at his proper meal times (and maybe the occasional cat treat, and don’t be late with dinner), Lynette lacks any respect for anyone’s personal boundaries. She expects a share of everything, including someone’s (my) salad (maybe she just wanted the chicken on the salad). Not only that, Lynette is relentlessly persistent in her attempts to breach battlements raised in haste and at great need to keep her attempts at bay (little paws grabbing salad do not make it taste better).

No, no, Lynette!

The thing is, Lynette is equally enthusiastic about her own meals. She appreciates every kind of food as long as she can sink her teeth into it (especially that donut!). To her, all food is feast-worthy. Indeed, life itself is a grand feast.

If Lynette were Babette, she would ensure abundant delights for all of her guests. She would also be sure to sit down at the table to enjoy each and every course. Although, instead of turtle soup, she might prefer fish chowder. Instead of wine, she would definitely prefer fish chowder.

But, truth be told (and that’s always the goal), Lynette would never make her own feast, but she would certainly love to share in yours.

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