It’s no secret that we’re in the presence of greatness at Tabby’s Place. Some folks call Tashi “the little Prince,” and Peachy is (obviously) in the highest echelon of royalty.

But, with a few recent arrivals, we would seem to have a full royal court. Windsor’s got nothing on Tabby’s Place.

We’d already been graced with the presence of a Queen. Admittedly, our glam sable girl is of the frequent opinion that it should be off with all human beans’ heads (or at least hands, judging from her stealth attacks on volunteer appendages). But, no matter. Aside from considering herself the ruler of Suite C (and not just her fellow black cats therein), Queen is confident in the knowledge that she has the highest title at Tabby’s Place.

Or at least she did.

I wouldn’t recommend telling Queen, but her equal has arrived. That’s right: cuddling up in Quarantine, awaiting his debut in our suites, is our newest member of the royal family…King.

Now, we’ve already had an Elvis at Tabby’s Place, and this new face isn’t The King. He’s simply…King.

The good news is, this new leader of our chess table wears his crown very lightly. More a snuggle-bug than a tyrant, King’s dynasty can only be good for everyone involved. Queen has good reason to hope that her unexpected (and probably unwanted) husband will be leaving his Ringoes kingdom for a forever home sooner than later.

But it takes more than just a King and Queen to fill out a proper court, and we could count on our cats to do things properly. So, coming in completely different groups from Queen and King are the two junior members of the royal family: Princess Zara and Prince Leopold.

Suffice to say that there is zero “family” resemblance between these two and the royal mum, Queen. If Queen is Princess Z and Prince L’s “mom,” then I am, in fact, the Queen of Spain.

With the floofiest, most ladylike ears, gigantic green eyes and softest personality this side of Camelot, Princess Zara is precisely the kind of cat who is adopted in her first 12 seconds at Tabby’s Place. Well…almost. The only thing to possibly slow down her coronation in a forever family’s home is the fact that tiny Zara has FIV.

And this, I’m afraid, runs in the “family.” Prince Leopold will also be joining Suite FIV once his Quarantine reign concludes. As sweet and mooshy as his “sister,” Leopold would likewise seem to have sky-high hopes of adoption despite this. The upside of Zara and Leopold’s FIV+ status is that they will never have to meet the cat-scorning Queen above them.

Lest all this highfalutin royal business make us feel small, there’s one more member of the Tabby’s Place court who will sweep smiles back across our mugs. No self-respecting royal family is complete without its very own court Jester.

And our tabby comedian is well worthy of the name. Whether he’s cramming his incredible girth into a bed ten sizes too small, or slamming his striped self into the suite window while chasing a wand toy, Jester is equal parts goofball and love bug. Even if you’ve just faced the Queen’s royal claws, you’re sure to come out laughing after a few minutes with the Jester.

Perhaps proving that jesters aren’t fools, Jester has taken up residence in Suite B…at a safe distance from the Queen.

All kidding aside, no amount of scratches and scrapes can dethrone Queen from our hearts. And, in the interest of full disclosure, I’ve personally only had sweet interactions with her (though my friends’ battle scars are sobering enough). I do believe there may yet be a home for the hot-tempered girl who makes the Red Queen look like Strawberry Shortcake.

In the meantime, there’s no denying it: she’s the top of the heap in Tabby’s Place royalty. (Except for you, Peachy, except for you. Naturally.)

And we human beans peons have the high honor of loving her, and the whole regal court, just the way they are.

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