It’s starting to get awkward.
We really need to order Jamie’s business cards. People are asking. People are getting impatient. (People are proficient at getting impatient.)
But Jamie can’t decide on her title.
Once we broke the news that “Founder and Executive Director” was already taken, Jamie had a dilemma.
She does so much for Tabby’s Place, it’s hard to distill it to a single duty. That would be equivalent to calling Batman “Quality Control, Leotard Department,” or “Winged Rodent Impersonator.”
From her corner office in the Community Room, Jamie does the work of a dozen departments. She chairs meetings of the Board of Directors. She evaluates the per capita distribution of head-bonks and rectifies shortages.
She makes haste to the lap of anyone emitting the distinct odor of “sad.” She makes “haste” a fashion statement, her silver spots dancing like dimes under the fluorescent lights.
She makes everyone laugh, even people who find laughing undignified. She makes fun of gravitas as well as gravity.
She counts sparrows and makes sure they do not fall from the bird feeder. She forgives them for being tiny sadists committing random acts of cabaret to torture the cats through the window.
Let the reader understand: forgiveness is the work of a lifetime, but Jamie achieves it hourly.
Come to think of it, Jamie is efficient in all of her deeds.
She is an elastic band determined to stretch time. She is a shiny grey scrunchie attempting to hold us all in one big braid.
She is not impatient — that is a human thing — but she does not put off until tomorrow what she can celebrate today.
I suggested that for her business card: Celebrant. Jamie Rosenberg, Celebrant. 
She agreed that this was accurate.
Jamie celebrates all the holidays. Jamie celebrates your birthday. (Be assured that Jamie knows your birthday.) Jamie celebrates Amazon Prime Day, Toyotathon, and Shark Week. Jamie celebrates Opening Night, every night, because this night has never opened before.
Jamie celebrates when the duct repair man comes, because Duct Repair Man Day doesn’t come every day.
Jamie celebrates when you open a Diet Coke, because Jamie, too, is made of carbonation.
Jamie celebrates when you close your eyes for a moment, because a resting human is a head-bonkable human.
Jamie is certainly a Celebrant, in silver spangles, no less.
But Jamie is also an Enthusiast, an Empath, a Life Coach, and the owner of several Wawas.
(I write what Jamie tells me. Jamie is honesty incarnate.)
So unless we print her business card on a CVS receipt, we are not going to be able to accommodate all her titles.
This is unfortunate for the various heads of state who visit requesting Jamie’s card. Jamie is not concerned. Jamie will send them holiday cards. Jamie knows the world has a shot at peace if a silver tabby sends the United Nations General Assembly a card on National Play-Doh Day.
Jamie is not going to miss a single shot at peace.
If you are still not impressed by Jaime’s resume, there’s one last thing. Jamie’s tower of titles includes one that threatens to turn the whole thing into a Jenga tenement.
Jamie is also “fragile.”
Jamie did not tell me to put that in quotes. Jamie would prefer that I capitalize it. Fragile. Add an exclamation point. Fragile! Jamie is a Celebrant, after all.
But I am a human, that impatient species that dunks our heads in the doldrums at the first grey cloud.
I wring my hands when I hear that Jamie, despite her youth, has cranky kidneys. They have improved greatly since her arrival, but they are still a bit “older” than the rest of her.
I become impatient when Jamie faces yet another ear infection, a painful legacy of the poor conditions in which she once lived. Stellar vets removed a polyp, but problems persist. Specialist consults speckle her calendar. She may need surgery. She may not. All I want is Jamie’s unfettered joy. This request seems modest.
I forget that nothing about Jamie is modest, because Jamie knows her rank and station.
Jamie is The Adored One.
Jamie is Safe.
Jamie is Unconditional.
Jamie is unconcerned what anyone calls her. Jamie can be Fragile, because love is sturdy.
Jamie does not have time to serve sandwiches to worst-case scenarios.
Jamie is too busy administering head-bonks and peace. Jamie has holidays, hootenannies, and honky-tonks to celebrate.
Today is the holiday. Today, we have Jamie. Today, Jamie has you and me. It’s enough to make Enthusiasts of us all.