Guest post: The weight of the matter

Guest post: The weight of the matter

We’re at that time of year when weight obsession — following the glut of year-end and start of the year festivities — has wasted away to practically nothing.

We’re on the cusp of the time of the year when the full girth of weight obsession will begin again, as we move past thinking of warming our toes by the fireside and start thinking of dipping them poolside.

Anywhere is the the perfect spot for Elliot

Pretty soon, all of the seasonal candies (and the ever-shortening availability of massively discounted seasonal candies) will be gone from the store aisles. (Note to self: time to mark the calendar to begin the hunt for cheapest Cadbury creme eggs! Also, Lindt dark chocolate bunnies.)

Around the same time, commercials for grills, outdoor furniture, and Scott’s lawn care products will go into full swing.

With the last chances of snow disappearing faster than a flake on a toddler’s tongue, we’ll start being pelted with more advertising aimed at our waistlines. This year, I’m expecting that Weight Watchers, Hello Fresh, and Atkins will muscle out Uber Eats and Grub Hub as people cast off their face masks and elastic-waisted pants in favor of bathing suits and jogging shorts.

The full weight of a sleeping Siesta is easy to bear

As a group, we’re pretty predictable about how we follow the cycles of the seasons. I, for one, am hoping this spring’s fashions include trousers with zippers and buttons again. And dresses. Lots and lots of dresses. With bold prints. Flowers. Bring the flowers. Does anybody know anyone in Milan who can wrangle a really great pair of sandals with sparkles and a giant flower on each one, and no thongy-things that go between the toes? Asking for a friend.

Sorry — extreme tangent. Now, wait, where was I? Oh, yes, weight. It’s a hefty subject for us humans.

Cats don’t care.

Every cat I have ever known has been completely oblivious of its weight, as well as the principles of weight distribution. The pound-force (pounds of pressure per square inch) of a 10lb cat’s paw on your femoral nerve is 2.5 psi. The thing is, cats can adjust their density or turn up their gravity or some such mumbo jumbo, such that the “feels like” psi is closer to 50. And, cats have a knack for finding sore spots.

Any cat of any size will be more than happy to trod across any person, disregarding delicate areas with aplomb (Elliot, for one, has limited appreciation for anyone’s personal space). But, it’s the biggest ones who overwhelm our laps just as much as all cats overwhelm our hearts.

Siesta is just one such lap-filling love bug. This big boy overflows with outsized love for cuddles. He’ll climb aboard with no apology to whomever he might displace (poor Carrot!) or for the wake-up tingles a volunteer’s legs might have after a long visit. Once settled, Siesta chirps and purrs as his human bed’s legs fall asleep.

Some big cats aren’t quite that comfortable with total lap takeovers, preferring to swing by for a quick pet, a la Conga, or a lie down nearby like Elijah. They weigh their options, and each makes the choice that works for them.

Very young kittens, like a certain tiny trio that might or might not be in foster right now and might or might not be about the cutest things anywhere ever, on the other hand, weigh next to nothing. With psi ranging from 0.625 to 1 and a complete lack of practice with maximizing density and so forth, it’s easy to hang out with a clowder of such kittens without losing the feeling in one’s feet.

The thing about kittens and their heftier elders is that they share a complete lack of their sense of size with regard to the people around them. They are as unconcerned with the weight they carry, and they don’t care about our sizes or shapes either. In this, since it has nothing to do with mealtime mush, they are completely non-judgmental.

It’s yet another lesson we can learn from cats: How to Look at Everyone Equitably and How to Look Good While Doing It.

Also: How Beautiful Am I? Very, No Matter What.

From cats, we can learn how not to get weighed down, even while helping bear each others’ weights. We can be the light, even when we feel weighed down by the lead in our feet.

Most of all, we can learn that the best way to float through life is with the full weight of a warm kitty filling a lap to overflowing, even if that kitty weighs less than a snack–size bag of chips.

In case you’re not feeling the full weight of the matter and the import of the lessons the Tabby’s Place denizens try to teach us daily, reinforcements are being called in.  The Band can take it from here.

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