Epilogues: April 2023

Epilogues: April 2023

T.S. Eliot, who first discovered that every cat has three names, declared April to be “the cruelest month.”

Clearly he did not know the names of Mayhem, Crumpet, or Patches.

No month could be called “cruel” that contains a Crumpet.

Mr. Eliot may have written the greatest poem in the English language (fight me on this), but I’m afraid he got the fourth month entirely wrong.

In the fourth month, Tabby’s Place met Patches, a pregnant feral whose definition of feral is “marshmallow multiplied by cotton candy, to the power of Dolly Parton.”

In the fourth month, Tabby’s Place hugged hamster-sized hunters who charged us all to Cherish the Kittens. (Please keep doing that. Your donation gets doubled until 6/1.)

In the fourth month, Tabby’s Place saved, Mars, named for the fourth planet from the sun, first in our hearts.

So with all apologies to dear Mr. Eliot, April was approximately as cruel as a love song.

Come, let’s hear the cats sing, each to each:

Mars, recovering and readying herself for intergalactic adventure. Or breakfast.

Arrived: Burrito, Gordita, Quesarito, Nachos, Baja Blast & Locos Tacos (kittens and their mama); Lola, Crumpet, Mayhem, Lucy, Mars, Theodore, Arthur, Jeffrey, Patches, Rapscallion

Adopted: Agnes & Toulouse (together YES! REALLY! I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING!), Drummer, Val

Returned: Millie

Promoted to the Community Room: Bonifacia

Scandalously Evicted from the Lobby: 100% of the Lobby cats

Righteously Returned to the Lobby: 100% of the Lobby cats

Assembling Cannons & Trebuchets for Future Lobby Incursions: 100% of the Lobby cats (who have 0% patience for “necessary construction” and such odious human frippery)

Promoted to the Lobby: Mika (pictured in top banner), Blaze

We are on minute-by-minute baby watch for “feral” Mom-to-be Patches

Promoted to Heaven: Roxy

Stuff We Learned: Quinn’s Corner is a long string of pearls. Grief-stricken cats carry candles.

And Hips was born anew the day Prescott landed in the lobby.

At last, our white rhinoceros has met his manic, magic match. They are irrepressible, incontinent kittens in adult bodies. They are tree toads leaping each other with loving lunacy.

Family portrait of Patches’ babies

Dare to eat a peach.

Dare to love someone ragged.

Dare to make some May Mayhem.

One hundred cats with three hundred names dare you.

1 thought on “Epilogues: April 2023

  1. April was the shortest long month ever. Major League Baseball season started, Drummer was adopted and Millie came home – once a Tabby’s Place cat, always a Tabby’s Place cat. And Arthur is caught between the moon and New York City.

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