There are things we’re told are facts, even if we’ve never seen the evidence ourselves.

Matter and energy can display characteristics of both waves and particles. There are reasonable people out there who like to listen to Kenny G. Charlie Sheen, John McCain and Vanilla Ice are all the same species.

And female FIV+ cats exist.

OK, so we do have a titch of evidence on that last one. There was Twix, and before Twix, Mistletoe and Princess Zara; before Mistletoe and Princess Zara, Rosie; before Rosie, Fern and Penelope and Nickey. But before this sounds too much like the “begats” of the Old Testament, let’s cut to the chase: the vast majority of Tabby’s Place’s illustrious FIV+ residents have been boys.

Not just boys, either, but the kind of boys who first made someone say, “boys will be boys.” The rowdy crowd in Suite FIV has always felt a little like a frat on Friday night, or an episode of Jersey Shore if the cast were made up of eight Situations. When there have been ladies among the big lugs, they’ve stuck out like pickled cauliflower in an ocean of butterscotch pudding. Or, more to the point, like Queen Elizabeth in a mosh pit.

With this month’s adoption of Twix (a lady who, it must be said, could out-frat the frat boys any day of the week), Suite FIV is once again where the boys are. If you’ve ever seen those Discovery Channel specials on walruses, where big, burly tusked guys hoot and howl and throw their hulking selves into each other as if to yell “I’m the strongest sailor on the seas! Arrrr!”…well, you’ve pretty much seen Suite FIV (minus the tusks and about 2,500 pounds per burly guy).

That’s not to say our frat boys are fighters. Although they probably contracted FIV in intense paw-to-paw combat with other street cats in their pre-Tabby’s Place lives, today the boys of Suite FIV are a bunch of mooshballs. Sure, they’ll slam around like those walruses and make their mischief like a bunch of Bart Simpsons…but their not-so-secret secret is that they are, each and every one, all love.

This has never been more on display than with the recent additions of Toby and Lester. Longtime roommates at their previous shelter, Toby the tabby and better-for-the-heart-than-Crestor Lester are BFFs…with each other, and with you, once they’ve known you for approximately 14 seconds. As you can see in these photos, the boys help each other to stay groomed and suave-looking at all times. (I guess their hope springs eternal that female FIV+ cats do exist.) Toby is, as a proper brown tabby, a snugglemallow and a giant Valentine. Equally sweet, Lester is his more easily-distracted cohort. Lester is the Pinky to Toby’s Brain. Lester is the Lennie to Toby’s George. And Lester is most definitely the Dan Quayle to Toby’s George Bush, Sr. As you can see from the photos below, it’s Lester who gets distracted by shiny things (and, to Lester, reality itself is pretty darn shiny).

These aren’t the only new boys at the Suite FIV stag party. There’s Newman, a ringer for Oreo – whose place he just-so-coincidentally filled when O was adopted. If Oreo has a future in politics, entertainment or organized crime, Newman definitely has a future as an Oreo impersonator. Meantime, he’s very much his own cat. His love-bug ways make me think he’ll soon be following Oreo’s footsteps into his own home.

Then there’s Bo, who fills the essential role of Bashful Boy. Bashful Boy is kind of like Funny Fat Friend or Wise And Benevolent Elder Played By Morgan Freeman in a movie. Suite FIV needs one at all times. No sooner is one (Mervyn) adopted, but another rises up to carry the mantle. So it is with Bo – sweet, quiet, gentle soul Bo.

Rounding out the frat are our longer-time FIV+ lads Nuttin, Edward, Hocus and Trooper. The humans at Tabby’s Place may be majority-female…but at least one suite has turned into a mancave. Walk in first thing in the morning, and it smells like it, too. It’s enough to make you think these boys need one thing: a savvy, take-no-baloney house mother with dilute tortie spots.

Good thing Mona’s waiting back in Quarantine. Stay tuned.

PS: The flood of adoptions from Suite FIV this year have left us with – at this moment – only three sponsorable FIV+ kitties, Nuttin, Edward and Hocus. But fear not: soon the entire frat will be sponsorable. Keep an eye on this page for Trooper, Toby, Lester, Newman, Bo and Mona’s debuts.

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