So our suite for shy cats contains cats who are shy, except for the fact they aren’t anymore.
Our Adoption Rooms are still technically called Adoption Rooms, even though they aren’t rooms for adoption.
So are you really surprised that our sparkly new, specially designated Kitten Room contains precisely 0.000 kittens?
We are, in fact, a bunch of dunderheads. But this one’s not on us — I swear. We have only reality to blame for the fact that we have no kittens, even in the muggy midst of May.
OK, that is a blatant lie. We do have kittens, north of a dozen, in fact (see thumbnail) — but we didn’t when The Kitten Room was conceived, and the kittens we have are smaller than Ring Dings and too fragile for freedom in a room, kitten-crafted or otherwise.
So. We have ourselves a Kitten Room with no kittens. Just don’t tell the non-kittens kidding around in there.
Of the Kitten Room’s current residents, Alexis has the best claim to live there. She is technically a teenager, hovering around a year of age and hopping with adolescent energy. And music, for that matter; our tuneful torbie seldom stops chirping the latest hits from Z100. (I have offered her a dollar to stop with the Ariana Grande. She just took that as an excuse to key-change into another verse of “Dangerous Woman.”)
But if Alexis made us feel semi-honest about the current state of the Kitten Room, we shouldn’t get used to it. With her sun-gold fur and honey-sweet spirit, this little lover is sure to be adopted sooner than you can say “Into You.”
So what of ‘Lexie’s neighbors? Nike and Reebok were kittens once — at Tabby’s Place, no less. So tiny were these tots that they once appeared on the banner over our Kitten Fund sponsorship page. So surely they belong in the Kitten Room, right?
Right. Three years late.
Still as sweet and as cute and as smooshable as in their smidgenly state, Nike and Reebok are now 3+ years old, and Nike is now 300+ pounds. They were returned to Tabby’s Place upon their adopters’ move to Europe. (In the dry words of a staff member who shall remain anonymous to protect the honest, “Of course. It’s illegal to have cats in Europe.”)
So Reebok and Nike are…not kittens.
That brings us to our last, largest lady in the Kitten Room. She may be bigger than a Buick, but at least Bebe was named for an infant, oui?
Non. Bebe’s name when she arrived at Tabby’s Place was — I swear I am not making this up — Bubba. And, to be honest, it’s a better fit. Bebe hauls a rig while smoking Marlboro Reds and chomping Slim Jims. Bebe could throw Nike and Reebok each over one shoulder and slap ’em on the bums with a studly laugh en route to the rodeo.
But big, beautiful Bebe will forever be a baby to us, even with her elephantine size and snappish ways. And so, we saved her from a lifetime of sharing her name with Bill Clinton and club-store hamburgers.
We just couldn’t save her from a stint in the Kitten Room…and, frankly, she likes it just fine.
The kittens are coming, kittens. In the meantime, love our larger-than-littles along with us…and savor the irony, Tabby’s Place style.