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 Super colossal dispatch

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Super colossal dispatch

By Angela Townsend
April 1, 2015
3 Comments
Tabby's Place

16361083263_9ef037cec3_zThere is so much news exploding at Tabby’s Place today, you’d think it was the Fourth of July.

It isn’t. It’s better. I’m spluttering for words, so I’ll let the cats explain. In no particular (dis)order, here comes today’s news.

Mario and Maggie are en route to Vegas for a shotgun wedding. It turns out they're in love, neither one was sterilized properly, and we're about to have the oldest parents since Abraham and Sarah.
Mario and Maggie are en route to Vegas for a shotgun wedding. It turns out they’re in love, neither one was sterilized properly, and they’re about to become the oldest parents since Abraham and Sarah.
Mario's so pumped about becoming Mr. Maggie that he's slobbering all over himself.
Mario’s so pumped about becoming Mr. Maggie that he’s slobbering all over himself.
Philippa saw Mags and Mar off at the airport, before hopping her own plane to Ukraine. She's going to solve this whole Russia-Ukraine issue if she has to arm-wrestle Putin herself.
Philippa saw Mags and Mar off at the airport, before hopping her own plane to Ukraine. She’s going to solve this whole Russia-Ukraine issue if she has to arm-wrestle Putin herself.
Meatball would like you to know that this will be his last photograph before he debuts his new look. He's now sporting a safety-green mohawk and an I HEART PHILIPPA tattoo.
Meatball would like you to know that this will be his last photograph before he debuts his new look. He’s now sporting a safety-green mohawk and an I HEART PHILIPPA tattoo.
Hocus is no longer excited about dinnertime. His new passion: architecture.
Hocus is no longer excited about dinnertime. His new passion: architecture.
Sneaky has submitted an adoption application for Jackie. But, she can't pick her up for a few days, because first she's going to be a backup flamenco dancer in Mario and Maggie's wedding.
Sneaky has submitted an adoption application for Jackie. But, she can’t pick her up for a few days, because first she’s going to be a backup flamenco dancer in Mario and Maggie’s wedding.
Jackie supposes she's OK with this whole being-adopted-by-Sneaky business, but only if Jackie herself can adopt Jonathan.
Jackie supposes she’s OK with this whole being-adopted-by-Sneaky business, but only if Jackie herself can adopt Jonathan.
Eve approved Jackie's adoption of Jonathan. She did not, however, approve Philippa's leaving the country. Homeland Security has been notified.
Eve approved Jackie’s adoption of Jonathan. She did not, however, approve Philippa’s leaving the country. Homeland Security has been notified.
Casper, as you know, is the head of Homeland Security. He will review Philippa's case right after he gets home from Mario and Maggie's wedding.
Casper, as you know, is the head of Homeland Security. He will review Philippa’s case right after he gets home from Mario and Maggie’s wedding.
Mango is so confused by all this drama that he's opted to join the monastery. Now he's just asking God for guidance on whether to go Benedictine or Jesuit.
Mango is so confused by all this drama that he’s opted to join the monastery. Now he’s just asking God for guidance on whether to go Benedictine or Jesuit.
Psi just wants wedding cake, and you'd best not stand between her and the bacon cake Maggie designed.
Psi just wants wedding cake, and you’d best not stand between her and the bacon cake Maggie designed.
And Peachy...well, Peachy's staying here in Ringoes for the festivities, because (a) somebody has to take care of all these humans, and (b) she needs to rest up before driving us all to Bonnaroo.
And Peachy…well, Peachy’s staying here in Ringoes for the festivities, because (a) somebody has to take care of all these humans, and (b) she needs to rest up before driving us all to Bonnaroo.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have my own wedding to get to. Marcus Mumford and I are finally making things official, and you’re all invited.

See? I told you it was better than the Fourth of July.

It’s April Fool’s Day.

"BAAAAHAHAHAHA!"
“BAAAAHAHAHAHA!”
angela is not right in the head carrot casper eve hocus jackie maggie mango mario meatball Peachy philippa psi sneaky

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3 thoughts on “Super colossal dispatch”

  3. April Fool’s aside, I hope to read soon — without it being an April Fool’s joke – that the lovely, sweet and gentle Mario has found his forever home. I hope it for many others, too, but given Mario’s place in the lobby, and his tendency to purr loudly when you pet him, I am surprised he has not yet been scooped up.

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