You’re too late for the Newport Folk Festival.*
You too early for Chance the Rapper’s tour.
But you’re right on time for the aural experience of your lifetime.
I am speaking of Lemur‘s lurble, a sound that knows no rival.
It is not a meow. It is not a murmur. It is not quite a burble or a warble, although now we are getting close.
It is a sound that stretches forth its hand and demands a new term. It is a lurble.
How to describe a form of music that can only be found in one corner of Ringoes, New Jersey?
I can tell you that it is bouncy. I can tell you that it is ladylike yet large. I can tell you that you will awaken it if you gaze at a certain station-wagon-sized tabby for more than three seconds.
Give Lemur the faintest hope that you’re about to love her, and she will lurble for you — repeatedly, if necessary. But, if you know what’s good for you (e.g. Lemur’s friendship), you will not need repeated lurblage. You will already be loving and cooing and head-bonking the bountiful, bigger-than-Brazil head of one Lemur Rosenberg.
You may just be lurbling yourself.
Here, as often, we find ourselves knee-deep in the question, why has a cat of such caliber not yet been adopted? As usual, the most accurate answer is, “Danged if we know.” But Lemur provides at least one large, loud possibility.
Our lovable lifeboat of a cat is not exactly demure. The lurble may sound like an oboe, but make no mistake: Lemur is all seventy-six trombones in the big parade, and you’d better bring out a hundred and ten cornets to give her all the glory she demands. She’s sweeter than the dozen donuts she appears to have eaten, but Lemur is no meek mouse. She will use everything she’s got — and, good glory, she’s got a lot — to put other cats in their place.
Accordingly, Lemur is a purple-collar cat, sporting a lavender-infused pheromone necklace that’s supposed to keep her…calm. Mannerly. Civilized. And, if not demure, at least…Lemure.
Adopters with other cats are understandably hesitant to haul home a Lemur known for bullying. But that can’t be the whole story; surely there are men, women and children in search of just one cat, one great and glorious cat, to love with an exclusive, undying, serflike admiration?
It is for them that Lemur lurbles on.
They will come, as sure as sailors to the sirens. When they do, Lemur will lurb full symphonies of joy. Meantime, ours are the luckiest ears and arms and bonk-blessed faces in all the land.
We’ll see your Folk Festival and raise you one summer of lurbles, Newport.
*Which is particularly unfortunate given that Kermit the Frog sang with Jim James and Dolly Parton sang with Brandi Carlile and oh my goodness, do we live in a magical, mysterious world or what?