In a world of scorn and snark, you can count on cats to never dress you down.
And yet, the earl of earnest felines happens to be all dressed up.
Bing does not intend to be fashionable.
He did not choose his snowy plumage, any more than you chose your big apricot freckles, or I chose hair that suggests I have Hobbit lineage. But there he is, all feathers and fanfare, a lion’s mane of chocolate and marshmallow.
If you inform Bing that he is splendid, he will get embarrassed. His eyes may be the size of worlds, but he cannot detect any hierarchy of beauty.
If you tell Bing that someone made fun of you, whether it was forty years ago or this morning, he will get confused. Made fun? There are a million ways to make fun, but none of them should leave bruises.
You try to explain. People mock other people for being small, speckled, new, or old. People dress each other down, because it makes them feel less naked, for a moment.
Bing will not understand. Isn’t everybody naked?
Bing is not the type to boast of his knowledge, but he knows about “naked.” Under that wizard’s cloak of fur is a kitten like any other.
You can tell him he is glorious. You can tell him that he is more soothing than Bing Crosby and more adorable than Chandler Bing. Could he BE any greater?
But Bing can’t accept your accolades, because he knows about “greatness.” It turns out it’s closely related to “naked.”
He will shift his weight at the top of the ramp while he tries to explain. He will thank you for not — what was that expression? dressing him down? “making fun” of him? Yes, thank you for not giving him a hard time for staying up there, where he feels safe, where he feels Lily‘s face sheltering in his fur.
There was once a time when Bing was called the greatest of kittens. Kittens contain higher concentrations of greatness than kings, Olympians, and Nobel Prize winners. There is no competition among them.
But one kitten came forth with chocolate-marshmallow feathers, and eyes the size of worlds, and the world went all wonder-struck.
The well-dressed kitten was easily adopted. But contrary to expectations, that happy event marked the end of “easy” and the beginning of “naked.”
Soon after his adoption, the small lion slipped outside. We do not know if anyone looked for him.
We only know that he found greatness between the snow and briers. Bing was a stranger, but a feral cat colony took him in. They did not marvel at his mahogany locks or the avalanche of white fur tumbling down his back. They did not elect him “most handsome.”
They simply carried on with the greatness that does not get reported. They met a stranger, and they took him in.

Five years later, some greater greatness stitched Bing back into the Tabby’s Place friendship bracelet. This was thanks to that solitaire diamond called a “microchip.” Bing came in from the cold. Bing dreamed grand dreams on micro-fleece donut beds.
Bing remembered that every living creature is naked, which is why he can’t quite get his head around this concept of “dressing someone down.”
Do you mean to tell him that human beings really call each other names, sometimes without saying a word? People lose their seat at the table just for being different, or daring to be themselves?
Bing may bury his face in his fleece to process this. If cats did that sort of thing, there would be no soft place for Lily to lay her head, no patience for Cornbread, no shared sunbeams for Hoopla Green.
If cats started dressing each other down, the temperature at Tabby’s Place would drop one hundred degrees. Suite A would shun Bing and Lily for living atop the ramp. Suite E would shame Shaggy for shouting “OO shaka-laka-laka OO shaka-laka” every time a human appears.
But they are cats, “naked” and “great” in equal measure.
There may not be a more handsome cat than Bing in all the world. But if you tell Bing that he is the winner, he will do the greatest thing he knows. He will look for the “losers” and let them burrow in his belly. He will shelter the strangest strangers in the cathedral of his hair.
He will probably not come down from the ramp, but he will do his best to build everyone up.
Perhaps someday we may all be so naked and so great.