Oh, kittens. The situation is dire. The cats have called a special session of Tabby’s Place Parliament.
The issue at hand: whether they can forgive us for October 2023.
We thought we did our best, really we did.
We celebrated twenty years of saving cats from hopeless situations. We grandly opened Quinn’s Corner. We welcomed five hundred of you — our cats’ favorite people of any species — to celebrate.
But we neglected our highest calling.
We failed to bring our residents to Porkrollpalooza. Not forty minutes from Tabby’s Place, dignitaries gathered to debate, admire, and consume great quantities of controversial meat product.
We are without excuse. The event, although international in scope, was held right here in New Jersey. Our cats command a fleet of strollers, ready for travel at a moment’s notice.
And if we were worried that the topic is just too divisive, we have cats on both sides of the aisle — Taylor Ham and Porkroll — to appease both North and South Jersey. (Tabby’s Place is the Garden State’s salty Switzerland, located smack dab in the center of the state. Like a dollop of mustard.)
We are prepared to live out our days unforgiven. But we are not prepared to stop loving our outraged overseers. For amid our dereliction of duty, October offered comings, goings, and squeeze-beef:
Arrived: Danimal, Morticia, Winifred, Casper, Freddy, Jason, Myrtle, Flatbush, DeKalb, Fulton, Bedford, Greenpoint, Adobo, Mara, Jampa, Amala, Dulcie, Hattie, Sylvia, Cheeks, Aslan, Dutchie, Cycles, Matthew, Perry, Bruno (and rest assured we DO talk about Bruno)
Adopted: Ice Spice & Beau (together); Freya & Blackberry (together); Cookie Monster; Rufio & Splinter (together); Muse & Weezer (together); Houdini; Nikki; Flick & Flack (together); Craig & Greg (together); Kilo; Sketch (YES SKETCH YES IN PERMANENT MARKER YES I AM YELLING); S’mores (YES THAT SMORES YES WITH OUR AMAZING BELOVED CAROLYN YES I AM DOING CARTWHEELS WHILST YELLING)
Returned: Sushi
Promoted to the Community Room: Oasis; Marvin
Promoted to the Lobby: Buster
Promoted to Marcia and Jonathan’s Office: Arnold
Swiftly Demoted from Marcia and Jonathan’s Office for Crimes Against Felinity: Arnold
Promoted to Heaven: Winston (forever foster with the luminous Cendrine); Honey; Arthur; Aslan; Hattie; Beckett
Stuff We Learned: Cats come in all sizes. Life writes the rules of “compatibility.” You can strike out and still win the series.
Here’s hoping we can redeem ourselves in November. Send in the turkeys. (They’re already here.)