Deliver us from Eva

Deliver us from Eva

Living, breathing, feeling creatures are never as simple as they seem.

This kind of complexity can be positive. It can be negative.

Or, it can be downright Eva.

I’d like to think I’m immune to surface judgments. I’d also like to think I look good in orange, and my taste in music is respectable, and Jimmy Fallon just might run for President if we’re all really good and kind.

Alas, I have no such noble immunity.

And so, when I first glimpsed Eva, I heard harps playing. This petite puff of a cat was a marshmallow unicorn, sprinkled with brown sugar and fairy dust and goodness and mercy. Obviously.

But just as Unicorn Cereal is actually kind of terrifying, our marshmallow unicorn was actually kind of a terror.

No sooner had our angel-faced cloud of charm wafted into the Kitten Room, than kittens started getting clobbered.

“Who, meeeeeva?”



As usual, no one was more confused than the humans. When reports began emerging, we were incredulous.Eva’s beating Lucas up? Eeeeeeeeva?

The reports were unrelenting.Yes. Sheeeeeeeeva. Eeeeeeeevilly.

Given my full-scale snockeredness with our little snickerdoodle, I may never have accepted the truth if I hadn’t seen it myself. But, sure enough, I was introducing Latte to her soon-to-be adopters when Eva started…well, Eva-ing.

Pop. Eva attempted to adjust the placement of Lucas’ head on his neck.Swish.Eva’s perfect, pinto-bean toes tweaked Latte‘s head.Boink. Raven made the mistake of rushing past, and Eva rushed her with the force of four linebackers.

One of Latte’s adopters said it best: “That one’s trouble.”

But lest we leap from snap judgment to snap judgment — our brains haven’t yet been fully replaced with snap beans, after all — let’s complicate the narrative.

Foes vanquished/bullying finished, Eva settled back into her essential Eva-ness. Chirping and purring, rubbing and rolling, the softest kitten at Tabby’s Place was all touchable treasure, a fount of love and fairy dust and lovely lavish life.

If you were to ask Eva, she’d remind you; you’re a complicated creature, too.

And then she’d head-bonk you with the force of forty fairy godmothers, all lovelike and lovely.

And then she’d stretch her stunning self full-length in front of fearful CornPop, simultaneously blocking his exit and growling giddily.

“Do me a favor,” said one of Latte’s adopters on her way out. “Just protect our girl from Eva, OK?”

You bet we will. But I can’t promise we’ll ever protect our own soft heads from surface judgments…or unconditional love for the utterly unpredictable, relentlessly lovable, inscrutable and irresistible kittens among us.

Love on, you complicated creatures.

1 thought on “Deliver us from Eva

  1. What a story. I am sad that Eva feels the need to beat up other cats. What can we say? We will try to understand and love her anyway – just the way she is. That’s what Tabby’s Place does. Love you just the way you are.

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