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Kitty LeFey’s Cosmos: “Snakes” and Planes

Kitty LeFey’s Cosmos: “Snakes” and Planes

Boa and Adder feel robbed. Something precious was taken away from them when Moo Moo was moved to the lobby. Now, they have to satisfy themselves with a window view for Adder and hearsay for Boa, who, being blind, doesn’t understand the concept of a view. What Boa does understand are flights of fancy. These come with the territory of being very active and living in a space awash with exciting noises, smells, toys, and lots of people and cats.

On the subject of flight, though, Boa has a goal. He wants to learn to pilot an airplane by braille. There are a few problems with this, but he thinks that the greatest obstacle is that he has not yet learned braille. That’s because he shredded the book.

Adder thinks Boa is onto something, and he wouldn’t need to learn braille to fly a jet. Being a thinking cat, he’s been considering Moo Moo’s status as the newest sponsorable cat because of her asthma. He proposes that she would fare better at 40,000 feet. But, Adder is not a veterinarian. Adder has no idea what asthma is…nor how high 40,000 feet is…nor that measured feet are not the size of cat paws.

What led to Adder and Boa dreaming these (never say “impossible”) dreams? It was what Adder saw and related to Boa. One day, Boobalah suddenly shouted into a deep silence and scared Moo Moo straight up into the air.

Seeing the leap and impressed all over again by her beautiful fur pattern, all that Adder could think of were planes and cows. He explained to Boa that they should establish their own airline. In honor of their former suitemate, they could call it Moo Moo Air. When Boa jocularly said he couldn’t see the point (Remember, he’s blind. He also has a great sense of humor!). Adder was very amused yet undaunted. He explained. Flight attendants would wear muumuus with cow pattern designs. The muumuus worn would depend on the region. Within the United Kingdom and New Jersey, United States, the design would be soft browns and white, just like Jersey cattle. For the Netherlands, black with an extra-wide white band around the middle, like Dutch belted cows. In Ireland, dark orange for Kerry cattle.

Adder and Boa stuck their paws in their ears and started singing “nya nya nya” when someone suggested that Kerry cattle are actually black. They also tuned out when presented with the fact that many cattle breeds are black, so their plan could be simplified. They responded that the stately, soft brown of Brahman cattle would be perfect for service to India, once the airline was able to grow. They wouldn’t accept that this suggestion was particularly problematic.

Undaunted, yet following a brief respite for Boa to try to “kill” a person’s shoe then turning his attention to a proffered toy and for Adder to climb into this same person’s arms for cuddles, they proceeded with sketching out their plans to be the first snake-named cats to run an airline. Of course they would offer frequent flier miles. Everybody would always be in boarding group 1. There would be ample first class seating, no business class at all, and only one seat in coach. There would never be any baggage fees. All personal baggage would need to be left behind. Every seat would be both an aisle and window seat, and only the very finest fish mush would be served, although special dietary needs would be accommodated.

When asked, neither had any clue how they could come up with the funds. Boa asked about tapping the Linda Fund, but Adder explained that it is strictly reserved for medical care. Adder suggested getting a home equity line of credit. Boa didn’t think Jonathan and the Board of Trustees would sign off on that, and Tabby’s Place is technically not a home, it is a sanctuary. That comment set off a good-natured brawl, the likes of which hearty, young cats enjoy thoroughly. At the end of it, this particular line of thinking was wholly forgotten. Instead, one of the boys – it’s anybody’s guess as to which – suggested creating their own board game called
Chutes and Adders.

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