Outta etas

Outta etas

greek_alphabet_lowercase1Tabby’s Place is blessed in many ways.

But as of this afternoon, we are woefully short in a key commodity: cats whose names end with the seventh letter of the Greek alphabet.

Feta, by Danielle (and Feta, courtesy of Google Image Search)
Feta, by Danielle (and Feta, courtesy of Google Image Search)

What, I ask you, is the value of life without an η? (I know this is what you ask in your dark nights of the soul.)

We are deprived. We are dispossessed. We are utterly divested of cats whose names rhyme with eta (or potayta). Someone should start a non-profit organization to help people in such a sad situation as ours. It’s a tragedy – and a Greek tragedy, no less. Goodbye is hard enough – but in Greek, it’s αντίο, and that hurts more than a can of kalamata olives to the head.

First came the cheesiest αντίο of all: Feta. Little cheese puff, we hardly knew ye. No sooner had we fallen in love with Gorgonzola’s babies, than some eta-hungry adopter set her sights on our little Feta. I certainly can’t blame her; it’s hard to resist a two-pound bundle of tabby-and-white, wrapped up in whiskers and affection. It’s especially impossible to resist aforementioned bundle when she’s named after brined curd cheese traditionally made in Greece. As if it weren’t enough to take away our Feta, the Great Cheesedopter also had to adopt Bleu.

But we weren’t quite as bankrupt as…well, Greece. We still had 67% of our etas: little Velveeta and the elusive Beta.
Had. Past tense.

Velveeta by Danielle, and her color-not-found-in-nature namesake
Velveeta by Danielle, and her color-not-found-in-nature namesake

Leave it to cheese-called kittens to cave to peer pressure. Once Feta and Bleu had been adopted, the race was on to be the next cheese outta Dodge City Ringoes. Like processed cheese product sliding off a cracker, big-eared, fearless Velveeta oozed into the hearts of a family all her own. They love her – and that’s great. Just fabulous. Just stellar.

Just…stab me in the heart with some sharp cheddar, why dontcha.

At this point we were, like Greece itself, on serious austerity. Just one eta remained. But, surely there was no threat of Dobro’s sugar, Beta, getting scooped up in the near future. She’s as beautiful as the Venus de Milo, but if you attempt to touch her, you’ll wish you only had an angry squadron of Louvre guards attacking you. So our Greek goddess wasn’t going anywhere fast…right?

In a word: λανθασμένος. (Which translates to: “Angela, you are a short-sighted noodlehead.” Or maybe it means ”wrong.” My Greek is rusty.)

Beta and the Betas
Beta and the Betas

We should have known we were in for some delicious trouble when we saw Momelope waltz into Tabby’s Place. And that’s Mom-ell-o-pee like Penelope, not Mom-a-lope like antelope. Momelope had brought us terrific trouble once before, adopting the long-overlooked, toothless, infinitely scrumptious Penelope.  Like Odysseus’ faithful and long-suffering Penelope, our Pen had waited long years for her beloved – and like Odysseus, Momelope had been every iota worth the wait.

But now, real tragedy (and not of the out-of-etas variety) had struck: shortly after a cancer diagnosis, sweet Penelope had passed away. She left behind a grieving Momelope, and a feline sibling, Routie. Much as Momelope missed her girl, her main concern was for Routie: he’d cherished his sister, and haunted their home like a hungry ghost ever since her passing.

So Momelope arrived with just one qualification: the cat of her future had to unequivocally adore cats. Future-cat’s feelings towards people were irrelevant – Routie and future-cat’s friendship was all that mattered. It was kind of an arranged marriage, minus the dowry and the awkward first conversation (“sooo…hang around here often?”).

The squooshed feet of Beta, as snapped by Tamar of
The squooshed feet of Beta, as snapped by Tamar of

Momelope had done her homework, too. A cruise through our adoptable cat pages had led her straight to our most cat-centric felines. Tops on her list? Our very last eta.

When I told Beta that she was being adopted, her eyes got as huge and saucer-shocked as if I’d informed her that Anthony Weiner wanted her personal e-mail address. Actually, that was the reaction from everyone I told, including Anthony Weiner. (When news this big breaks, we tell everyone - and I do mean everyone.) But it was true.

So true, in fact, that today our last eta flew the coop.

There is some good news amidst all these αντίοs:
* Three eta-cats have adoring homes.
* Three adoring homes have high-quality cats of extreme excellence.
* Dobro has not yet killed anyone for the indignity of losing his squeeze. 

Velveeta about to roll off the Tabby's Place cracker, by Danielle
Velveeta about to roll off the Tabby's Place cracker, by Danielle

Come to think of it, maybe Dobro loved Beta so much that he wanted her to have a forever home more than he wanted to sit in the corner of the ramp and cast the stink-eye upon humans with her for the rest of their lives (romantic as that is). Or maybe he’s just planning his moves.

In all seriousness, we’re happy to go Greekless if it means losing our Hellenic loves to loving families. So to you and your families, Feta, Velveeta and Beta: Opa!

8 thoughts on “Outta etas

  1. I knew the little cheeses would get scooped up quickly, but Beta?!! I am so happy for such a sweet girl. I know that she will be so happy and I bet she becomes friendly with people as well as her new Routie. Dobro will be lonely! Goodbye Beta. I’ll miss you sweetie. Enjoy your new world!

  2. Thanks for the update on the cheese kittens and Beta. Angela, 1 quick ? why isn’t their mom, Gorgonzola on the “Adoptables” pages?

  3. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for Beta! I think she will do great with her own humans.

    I think Dobro is starting to come around too though, 2 weeks ago he took a treat from my hand and I still have all my fingers. It was a bit scary, but definitely worth it. He didn’t even hiss at me.

    1. You gave Dobro a treat and lived to tell? KUDOS TO YOU — WOW!!! I’m sure everyone else is as impressed as I am! As for the kittens — no surprise there! But sweet Beta? I will SO miss this beautiful girl but in time, there really is a match for everyone, isn’t there?! (great blog, Angie!)

  4. Hurray for all the Greek kitties–and especially Beta! I had my fingers crossed for her since, one by one, her own kittens got adopted. I do think, however, that you guys need to get Dobro a cellphone so he can text pretty Beta. Long distance relationships between cats really can work given the right technology. 🙂

  5. Hooray for the kittens but I will miss sweet Beta!!!! Dobro usually “allows” me to pet her when I visit. I hope my boy is ok with losing Beta so soon after losing the Okinawa 3! A visit is in order!

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