Helpful hints and shortcuts are a big help to a busy life.

It seems our cats have been reading Real Simple, because they’re doing their best to simplify…the laundry.

As any college student will learn, there are certain laws of laundry that you ignore at your peril. Don’t wash sweaters in hot water. Don’t wash dirty dungarees with frilly flouncy fragile things. (While you’re at it, don’t use the word “dungarees” if you don’t want to sound old or vaguely Australian.)

And, unless you want an all-pink, Easter bunny-evoking wardrobe, do not mix your reds and whites.

We do a lot a ton a frightening and perhaps criminal amount of laundry at Tabby’s Place. With roughly 100 cats, there are a lot of blankets, towels, toys and Spiderman pillows to be cleaned every day. We have not yet seen the need to launder cats…but, in their infinite wisdom, the cats have already planned ahead for if this need should arise. Tabby’s Place is a busy place – there’s not always time to separate your white towels from your Spiderman pillows. No one wants to see what pinkish tragedy might ensue if we washed a red cat with a white cat – say, Mango with Jenny.

But now we can rest easy knowing that we’ll never need to sort the furry laundry in Suite FIV. Between the recent flood of adoptions and the resultant influx of felines, the suite that’s always been our most colorful personality-wise has suddenly gotten rather…monochrome.

The suite is overwhelmingly composed of grey boy all-stars (not to be confused with the Grey Boy Allstars, who I am quite certain were inspired by our cats): that’s Edward, Hocus, Dusty, Magnum,* Nuttin and Poi. Throw ’em in the washer together, and your greys will all stay grey. (Let’s just ignore, for a moment, the epic violence that would ensue in this situation. Dusty + Nuttin + >15 seconds = bloodbath.)

But these fashionistas (-istos?) aren’t so bland as to keep it totally tone-on-tone. Just to add a little spice, the GBAs gave the nod to some black-and-white newbies: Terrance, Twix and our lovable anti-gmork, Mistletoe. What’s the worst that can happen if black and white and grey all spin together in the washer? Just a whole lotta…grey. (With all apologies to Jerry Garcia, more than a touch.)

This means you can now wear any combination of FIV+ Tabby’s Place cats, and you will be guaranteed to match. That’s a good thing, too, since several of these cats like to be worn. I’m not being cute here; we’ve got shoulder-sitters and lap-fungi aplenty in Suite FIV, and it could be embarrassing if you were clad in clashing cats. But these catshionistas definitely have your back (and are more than a little likely to ride around on it, too, if you’ll let them).

At the rate FIV+ cats are getting adopted this year, it’s just a matter of time before our crew’s master plan hits a snag. What’s going to happen when a marmalade cat, or a calico, or even a Siamese, breaks the color barrier? Will there be race riots? Will we need to host diversity training? Will the cats appear on Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list?

Once again, I am reminded: cats, in their infinite wisdom, do not worry about any such things. So although Suite FIV may be magically matchy-matchy at the moment, it doesn’t matter.

It just makes laundry day a lot easier.

PS: Hat tip to Philly’s own WXPN, via Karin, for tipping me off to those other Grey-Boy Allstars. (You know, the ones who mix the upbeat sounds of funk, jazz and boogaloo. Actually, so do our furry GBAs.)

*Breaking news: yet another adoption has thinned our herd of GBAs. Happy forever home to you, Magnum.

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