As if it weren’t hard enough being itty-bitty, the youngest septet at Tabby’s Place has faced an especially severe indignity.

Despite being “deities,” these seven siblings have fallen from grace into (dum-dum-DUM)…ringworm. That means lime sulfur dips and extra weeks in quarantine – a far cry from Mt. Olympus.

Then again, this septet’s future is far more Olympian than their past. Once they’ve blasted ringworm, they’re on their way to sunshine and forever love. In the long view, ringworm’s just a blip on the screen now that the mag seven are done with their cold pre-Tabby’s Place days alone in an inner city.

But, let’s back up a moment. What the heck are seven tiny kittens doing being born in the midst of a New Jersey winter?

Your guess is as good as mine. Although it seems to have eluded the media’s top ten lists, surely one of the major newsmaking novelties of 2009 was The Kitten Season That Just Wouldn’t Quit. I laugh now to recall that we thought fall babies Steve, Monica and Chandler were “late.” Who could have guessed that seven grand munchkins would land on our shores in January?

I can’t take credit for the mighty names of these seven babies – they’re Jonathan’s doing. But it’s eerie how appropriate those names have turned out to be. Just like the “gods” and “goddesses” of Greek myth, the magnificent seven are hot-tempered and colorful, and they wear their hearts on their sleeves – or in their tiny, adorable hisses, as the case may be.

Now, if you’ve ever seen a miniscule, angel-faced ball of floof hissing at you like a wild, savage saber-toothed tiger, you’ve experienced cognitive dissonance in the first degree. Welcome to the world of the magnificent seven.

Micro-torbie Persephone, arguably the cutest of the pantheon, will give you the cognitive dissonance of a lifetime. She may weigh less than an English muffin, but don’t underestimate this little diva’s fire. Who could have guessed, when Jonathan named her for the “goddess” of the underworld, that Persephone would have such a hellish opinion of human beans? She’s coming around sloooooowly, but suffice to say that we’re all looking forward to the day our little beauty greets us with something other than a hiss. (A cute, miniature hiss, yes…but a hiss is a hiss.)

Persephone’s mythological dad, Zeus, is another tale altogether. While it’s physically impossible that Zeus the kitten is father of Persephone the kitten, in other ways the name is quite fitting. One of the friendliest in the pantheon, Zeus is a good-time guy, increasingly happy to fraternize with both his fellow “deities” and mere mortals (a.k.a. human beans).

Not so for his longsuffering wife Hera. After Persephone, this high queen is the scarediest of the seven. She may not “punish…with implacable fury” (thank heavens!), but Hera is most definitely not ready to be our best friend. (On the other hand, I am so much more than ready to smoosh this little ball of dilute-calico fluff. Really, now, can you stand this level of sweetness? This almost-criminal fluffitude?) Still, I predict that Hera’s wall of fear will come tumbling down sooner than later. We can’t resist loving this little queen, and she can’t resist being loved forever.

Then there’s her mythological “son,” Ares (pictured hiding behind brother Titan). I’m afraid the connection between kitten and “deity” grows especially thin with this fluffy guy, because there’s no way tiny Ares would tromp onto the battlefield. As you can see, he’s hardly got the mettle to emerge from behind his brothers Titan and Hermes. Little Ares is going to need a lot of love and painstaking patience if he’s going to find his courage – but, fear not, he’ll get it by the truckload.

As for Hermes, our sable-and-white toddler is living up to his reputation as messenger of the pantheon. As the friendliest kitten, Hermes bears the hope and the message that the other six will come around as gleefully as he has. While Persephone and Ares cower, bouncy Hermes offers the message that all shall be well, that these human beans are pretty keen and that life keeps getting better. I trust the happy boy’s messages will get through in good time. (And, in the meantime, we’ll keep fawning over his sweet nature and his hilarious markings: all black, except for snow-white locket and armpits ;-)).

With a name like Titan, you’d think the sixth member of the pantheon might be a tower of courage. But Ares’ BFF brother has a lot of growing-up to do, and I hope with all my heart that he’ll be growing in trust even as he grows into his big name.

Finally, that brings us to the girl everyone loves, the girl whose very name oozes love: Aphrodite. Departing from her sisters’ scaredy-cattitude, our love “goddess” has been a snuggler from the very beginning. It’s only right that a kitten named Aphrodite should have a big personality. All the more so because she’s a (dilute) tortie.

My heart is full with love and hope for the magnificent seven. They’re going to have to soldier through the stinky days of ringworm treatment before bursting into the lobby, but I know that sunny days are ahead. As our hearts burst with love for them, it’s bound to be contagious. They will see the blessing in being adored.

Mark my words: by the time “kitten season” officially arrives this spring, we’ll be missing our beloved pantheon. Come spring, the mag seven will be soaking up the worship of their forever families.

But before that happens, we’ve got a lot of loving to do. 🙂

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