Now, I’m as whimsical as any girl raised on Narnia and Tolkien and Strawberry Shortcake. But even I know that certain things do not exist:

Vegan cheese that tastes like cheese. Bad John Hughes movies. Great tomatoes from outside New Jersey. Unadoptable cats.

But even if every single cat is adoptable just the way she is, we like to do all we can to enhance her adoptability (OK, everything short of a kitty wig). This is especially the case with an otherwise uber-adoptable feline who has just one nagging “thing” that makes adopters stop in their tracks.

Intractable diarrhea is, as you might imagine, quite a “thing.” But it looks like diarrhea may have seen its last days of making adopters say “whooooa” to little Nellie.

If you’ll pardon the pun, diarrhea had made a big, stinky mess of Nellie’s world before she came to Tabby’s Place. The non-stop nature of her issue led her humans to give her up, and a “thing” like diarrhea generally fast-tracks a cat to the euthanasia list.

But this angel-faced girl was headed for much sweeter climes: the Special Needs Suite at Tabby’s Place.

In her first few days in the suite, Nellie may honestly have wondered whether she would have been better off on that list of doom. Her roomie in the Special Needs Suite is none other than Beatrice of the Beatdown, an alpha-tortie with zero patience for her own species. With a history of harassing attacking attempting to annihilate neighbors from Hootz to Natasha, Beatrice had spent a good deal of time having the Special Needs Suite all to herself, just the way she liked it.

But along came Nellie, and with her the need to make room in Suite Beatrice the Special Needs Suite for a second bowel-bothered feline. So it was with fear and trembling that we moved Nellie – harmless, wild-as-a-vanilla-wafer Nellie – into the realm of the queen Bea.

It is fair to say that Beatrice was unusually gentle with Nellie. By “unusually gentle,” I mean “slightly less violent.” Yes, Nellie took a swat or twenty.

But this gentle girl is as steady as a silent sea. I’d bet my tinfoil hat that Nell didn’t exactly appreciate Bea’s beatings, but neither did she become overly fearful or concerned. Where other cats may have taken to hiding or hissing, Nellie just bounced along and learned to keep a respectful distance from the tortie queen. It took less than a week for Bea and Nellie to reach detente. Nowadays, when you glance into the Special Needs Suite, you will see two very peaceful and content lady cats…at two opposite corners of the room. Never the twain shall meet.

Besides, Nell is less interested in winning over Bea than she is in Operation: Moosh Human Beans. Put your face within a foot of Nellie’s, and she will head-butt and cuddle you for all you’re worth (and, in Nellie’s book, you’re worth one hundred million diamonds). Get a little closer, and you get the sweetest gift in Nellie’s keeping: her kisses. Like our own Peachable One, Nellie loves to lick, and she’s not shy about planting kisses on even her newest friends.

Our creamsicle kiss-granter would be the farthest thing from “unadoptable” if not for that “thing”…that diarrhea thing. It’s not so much the twice-daily medication or even the extra vet visits that scare off all adopters. While still a challenge, it’s much easier for a cat with heart disease or urinary tract disease to find a forever home. Diarrhea, though…it’s a pretty big thing.

Or, in Nellie’s case, it was.

With great fanfare, our vet announced this week that Nellie’s diarrhea – that “intractable” thing – seems to have been vanquished at last. We’ll be putting Nell in a crate overnight all week just to be sure that it’s her, and not Bea, who’s having the perfect non-diarrhea. But, if our predictions are right, Nellie will be med-free, able to live in a “normal” suite, and that much more adoptable in no time.

Now, if only sweet, complicated Bea will follow her example into happier bowels. We’ll work on her people feline skills next time!

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