Reasonable people can disagree about some topics. For instance:

Colonel Peabody may have served in the Marine Corps or the Air Force.

“Batty” may be short for Batilda, Batherine, or Batricia.

Berry‘s mother may have called him by his full name, “Gooseberry Magnus Rosenberg,” when he was in trouble.

But of one thing, there can be no debate. Sweetums is a Sweetums.

Sweetums comes from North Carolina, land of Great Smoky Mountains and Waffle Houses. If Sweetums took you to Waffle House, he wouldn’t let you start eating until he evaluated your waffle and his waffle to make sure you got the better waffle.

Actually, Sweetums would skip the waffles entirely and order you both an enormous quantity of “country ham,” whatever that is, but you get Sweetums’ point.

Sweetums has feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV), which is transmitted through deep bite wounds. But Sweetums isn’t mad at the guy who bit him, bless his heart. Poor fella couldn’t resist. Sweetums is 49% pecan pie, after all. The other 51% is a combination of hash browns and gratitude.

Sweetums is not exactly “orange,” although he is too polite to correct you. He will say, “yes, ma’am” if you describe him as such. Sweetums’ precise color is “chicken fried.” He is marinated in manners and breaded in affection. He does not count calories or compliments. He believes everyone deserves enormous quantities of both.

Sweetums will not tell you that he is strong. No Sweetums would ever admit to that. But it is a little-known fact that the sweetest are the strongest.

It takes grit to remain as soft as grits. Not everyone is tough enough to keep their innocence intact.

Sweetums remains a Sweetums, even after everything. He has been a Sweetums for ten years, and he will be a Sweetums until that big tailgate party that never ends.

Sweetums comes by his name honestly, the way he does everything. We will never know all of their names, but a band of angels stood by him in the Tar Heel State. When you know that you are safe, you can dare to be sweet.

Sweetums wants everyone to feel safe.

You might say that Sweetums wants everyone to be a Sweetums.

So, as much as Sweetums would like to take you to Waffle House, he’ll start by taking you into his heart.

It’s much larger, anyway, and less likely to be the scene of a fist fight.

Sweetums supposedly came to Tabby’s Place because he needed shelter, but it’s pretty obvious that we needed Sweetums. When he melts in your lap like pimento cheese, you will remember the time before you ever heard a single sharp word.

When he rolls over like a boiled peanut, you will giggle like a child.

And when he looks you in the eyes, I mean all the way, it will feel like a dreamy afternoon on a big front porch.

So forgive us if we’re all feeling as gooey as butter on a biscuit these days.

If ever there was a Sweetums, it’s Sweetums.

PS: And if ever there were AwesomeAdopters, it’s the family who has just fallen smitten for Sweetums. By the time you read these words, he’ll be hamming it up in the home of his sweet dreams.

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