Happy Fourth of July and Happy Summer, friends of Faye!

Between my recent binge-worthy Netflix discovery of The Crown and the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, it appears that Summer 2018 is the official season of all things royal. And while I remain enchanted from afar as I learn about what it takes to actually be royalty, Faye — as our resident Princess — is very much in the know. For example, according to a very reputable source (okay, it was an article in Cosmopolitan), women in the royal family are only permitted to wear neutral shades of nail polish (the Queen’s alleged favorite is “Ballet Slippers” by Essie), and if you stay in Buckingham Palace overnight, you are not permitted to go to bed until the Queen herself retires for the evening. Faye recently schooled me on another law of the royal land — one so important, and so universal that it doesn’t even need to be recorded anywhere:

You may never, ever, under any circumstances, um. . . shave a royal’s fuzzy butt.

Summer is typically the time of year when Princess Faye, as a long-haired kitty, requires a serious haircut. We do this in part to keep her cool, as she prefers to spend her days sunbathing with her Suite C friends in the solarium. But we also do it to relieve her of some unsightly (and uncomfortable) matted fur. So far, though, her matting has been restricted to her neck, so we have been able to simply clip her fur down in that specific area (which is good, lest we break the royal dress code and let the proverbial fur fly).

Faye is having a wonderful July, spending her days basking in the sunshine. She thinks of you often and hopes that these lazy summer months will be restful and restorative for you as well. We both thank you for choosing her as your (royal) friend and for your love and generous support. We also highly recommend that you watch The Crown. Seriously. Watch it.

We’ll talk soon, friends. . .