Long long ago (c. 1987), there was a TV commercial for the National Enquirer, in which an announcer informed us, “inquiring minds want to know.” An absolutely ebullient woman then squealed, “like ME!”
Apparently a lot of folks agreed, because the Enquirer has exploded in popularity since then.
We’re absolutely ebullient about their top story this week.
I don’t mean the cover story, which is too saucy to recap in this friendly blog. (John Travolta. Romping. That’s all you’ll get from me here.)
I don’t mean the “hot or not” photos - weighty as the questions they raise may be. (Was Rihanna’s dress too much? Will Brad Pitt grow his hair long again? I toss and turn over these things at night…)
No, I mean the undeniable top story.
Tashi. Gabby. Tabby’s Place.
In the National Enquirer.
Yes, my friends, it’s come to this. And, no, we couldn’t be prouder. (To quote a certain Executive Director who shall remain anonymous for his own sake, except to say that his name may or may not rhyme with Ronathan: “This is the proudest day of my life.” Yes, he said this. Yes, multiple times.)
For reasons we can’t imagine, the Enquirer hasn’t posted this story on their website. Not that we’d want two humble cats and their spectacular family to bump hard-hitting news about Lea Michele’s tattoos. I mean, that would be just wrong. Sad and wrong.
But inquiring minds still want to know. Like me.
Since we don’t want to run afoul of copyright law/go to jail (cats don’t believe in bail - and Dobro would enjoy the staff’s collective imprisonment all the days of his life), I can’t reproduce the article here. Suffice to say: it is outstanding. Beautiful. Tashicentric. Classy and fabulous all at once. (Kinda like Webster.)
I didn’t think this would ever come out of my mouth/keyboard, but here it is: go buy the National Enquirer. It’s the issue pictured at the top of this post.
Page 8. (Right after the romping cover article.)
In the meantime, I appease you with these luscious photos, all taken by volunteer Jess. And not to worry: these cats’ own tales will be told here soon. I know your inquiring minds, and I know they want to know. Like me.