Alternate title for this post: Old Women Gone Wrong.
What happens when you take:
- 1 very cozy room, featuring
- 500+ blankets
- approximately 837,000 figurines of cats, ranging from adorable to disturbing
Gently stir in:
- 6 very content, very old (feline) ladies
- 1 Cutest Kitten In The Whole Wide World, with bubbles
Well, what happens? See first paragraph.
Maybe it would have been smoother if we’d added an ordinary kitten to the Little Old Ladies’ Suite. (OK, pretend for a moment that there is such a thing as an ordinary kitten. As if.) Maybe Lola, Cali, Mia, Jade, Lady Grey and Ali would have easily accepted this mythical “ordinary kitten.”
But if ever there was an “ordinary kitten,” Sprite is not the one. In fact, look up “ordinary” in the dictionary, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find a big red X over a photo of Sprite. (Or possibly over a photo of Rodney Dangerfield. Or Bjork. These three are roughly equivalent in antiordinariness.)
First, there’s the whole Cutest Kitten In The Whole Wide World thing. There’s no getting around it. Yes, yes, all kittens are cute adorable make-you-lose-your-mind-and-start-cooing-like-an-idiot-on-helium awesome. But Sprite…well, there’s just something extra.
Let’s call it the bubble factor - and that’s not just a soda metaphor.
Sprite bubbles. Lay eyes on her, and your heart dances with all the zest of tightly-corked champagne (or Sprite). Kneel down beside her teeny-tiny self, and she’ll almost bubble over with excitement, just to meet you. First Sprite will extend one paw, then another, and then she’ll turn to you with that face.
And then…you’re over the moon. You’re connected, soul-to-soul, and you’re gone from the realm of sanity. (And you wouldn’t go back if you could.)
Maybe the most amazing thing about Sprite, though, is the way she proves she can connect with you at all. There’s one little quirk about Sprite that gives some folks a hard time picturing how it could ever be possible to have any sort of connection with her.
Sprite is blind.
You can’t tell by looking at her. Her little peepers look perfectly functional, and she’ll tilt her little espresso-hued face to you as though she were looking you in the eye. But sit a moment longer, and you’ll realize: Sprite knows you’re there (and, good golly, is she pumped about it)…but she’s not sure exactly where you are. She’ll reach out one mini-paw, then another, to gauge the distance and get a little closer…to bubble directly into your life (and, preferably, your lap).
But back to our risky recipe.
Naturally, we thought the gentle grandma-types in the Little Old Ladies’ Suite would be the perfect ones to welcome Sprite to Tabby’s Place. Surely they would pinch her little cheeks and kiss her on the nose and tell her stories about the old times while offering her cocoa and ginger snaps.
That…or they would beat the stuffing out of her, relentlessly.
Who’da thunk it? Lola? Cali?? And I thought I knew ye.
Fortunately, twenty-four hours after that violent introduction, the grandes dames have accepted their bubbly new roommate, and all seems to be well (although still a tad short of the cocoa-and-gingersnaps ideal…but give it time). I guess it goes to show that even bubbly blessedness, even The Cutest Kitten In The Whole Wide World, may be an acquired taste.
If you’re feline, that is.