It’s always too soon.
The only consolation in losing a love like Pitzel is trusting what lies ahead.
First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, e-mails and outpouring of love for our most elegant tortie. Pitzel was adored from Ringoes to Romania, and she had the sweet blog-comments to prove it.
If only it were enough to keep her with us.
When I posted the last blog entry, we clung to hope based on Pitz’s faint-but-steady appetite. Throughout Thursday, she crept into Phyllis‘ open crate to munch a few bites of kitten food. We chose to see it as a good sign.
Friday, however, was a very different day.
Hunkered down in front of the lobby door, flinching at the caresses she once craved, Pitzel was a very different cat. It was Jonathan who said what none of us wanted to recognize: She’s already checked out.
We waited. We agonized. We called all the staff who were off and asked them to come in. We called Pitzel’s first and best hero, L., and fought tears over the phone.
Almost exactly a year ago, L. and her sisters had arranged for Pitzel’s journey to Tabby’s Place through the Exceptional Circumstances Program. Pitzel had been the angel-baby of their adored aunt, and that amazing woman’s sudden passing had left Pitzel orphaned. The sisters’ devotion to their aunt and the cat she’d cherished led them to move heaven and earth so Pitzel could know love and the best of everything. But their care of Pitzel didn’t end when they handed her off to us. In fact, L. has adored Pitzel as much as any catmom or catdad could possibly love the felines in their own home. Through the past year, L. and I have been in touch every month, to share stories of Pitzel, to check in on the supertortie, and to further - and forever - knit L. into the Tabby’s Place family.
News of Pitzel’s swift decline left L. with a quaver in her voice. It was all so reminiscent of the way Pitzel’s mama - L.’s amazing aunt - left this world last year: suddenly, shockingly, with only the shortest-term suffering.
L. was resolute: Pitzel must not suffer.
We couldn’t agree more.
And so Friday became a day we never wanted to see…but not, by a long shot, the last time we’ll see Pitzel.
Surrounded by the full Tabby’s Place staff plus volunteer Larry, Pitzel passed peacefully out of pain and into glory. I can’t imagine it was more than a second, maybe two, between the moment her golden eyes closed on this earth and the moment they opened to see her mama and the God who made her.
It’s the kind of reunion we can barely begin to imagine from our simple earth-bound perspective. If you combined all the kittens and marshmallows and hugs and sparkles and episodes of Perfect Strangers in the world, it wouldn’t even equal 1/100,000,000,000th of the joy and the wholeness that belongs to Pitzel now.
And that hope does begin to heal the hearts that still ache for her here.
Pitzel in the "Happy Heart Basket"
Here on earth, Pitzel’s ashes will join those of the other dogs and cats cherished by L. and her family. We tucked Pitzel into a blanket, along with one of the catnip hearts from the “Happy Heart Basket.” It’s a happy memory and one that’s quite fitting; when we first arranged the display for the Happy Heart Basket, Pitzel immediately took her place in the middle (see photo), clearly proclaiming the happiness of her own heart. I can only believe that happiness has increased a millionfold now.
Pitzel, I will miss you as long as I’m on this earth. Your elegant walk, your ladylike meow, your gleam and your love and your unexpected, Katherine Hepburn-like goofiness…you are and were an icon.
And you are forever. Give your mama, that amazing aunt, a kiss and our thanks for loving you into the glorious cat you are. Until we meet again…
Tags: forever loved, pitzel
RIP Pitzel you surely will be missed, Thanks Tabby’s Place for the care and love that you gave her while in your care, but now she is where she really belongs - back with her mom who will love her for all eternity. As always, Thanks to everyone for all you do.
I really need to stop reading these at work. I’m so happy that Pitzel and her mom are reunited. I’m grateful for the love and care she received at Tabby’s Place. And for the love she received from all over the world. She was one adored pussycat!
Oh I heard about Pitzel on Sunday but this blog caught me off guard. Angela, you write so well! I cried, thank go everyone is at lunch! Rest in peace, sweet girl, in your loving mom’s arms.
It was my honor and pleasure to know and love and scratch Miss Pitzel. I really was done with heart break before this news. But it turns out my heart still had room for some more hurt.
My heart goes out to everyone mourning Pitzel today and my love and thanks for everyone who cared for her.
Kathryn
Have a safe trip, little Pitzel–and save us all a spot over there next to you, your Mama, and all of the other cats who’ve gone before you. We’ll catch you again on the flip side.
My first post - I discovered Tabby’s Place online a few months ago and of course checked out all the kitties. In my fantasy, if I could adopt, it would have been Pitzelwho looked so much like my late Lacey. Pitzel stole a piece of my heart from over 200 miles away! So I share in the sorrow of those who knew and loved her, and extend my sympathies to all. In my mind, one last picture remains - Pitzel and her Mama, reunited, both restored to glory and loving one another for eternity. Goodbye for now, sweetie! We will all be together one day.
How right you are, Webbthistle. Welcome - it is a joy to have you with us here on Felis Catus. Your Lacey was surely a beauty and so well loved.
I can’t believe she is no longer with us…sweet little cat, you’ve gone too soon. This is so very sad. I sent my heartfelt condolences to everyone at Tabby’s Place and thank everyone who was there to help Pitzel through this time…rest in peace, little love.
The last visit I had with Pitzel is how I will choose to remember her….
I sat down next to her, and she tilted her pretty little head into my hand, as if to say, “Hello there, and how are YOU doing today?” instead of worrying about her own declining health…
She was a precious little darling….I know she and her “Mama,” now reunited, will find a way to let us know they are ok…..
Goodbye for now, sweet girl. Pitz - I really appreciated all your help with work in the Community Room. Always the gal who could make me giggle, your beautiful face and bright eyes… RIP with all the other TP sweethearts and your special people inside the light. Love to you always.
So glad I was able to visit Pitzel last week and get in some hugs! She will definitely be missed.
You have our heartfelt condolences on the loss of Pitzel.
Reading this made me very upset! RIP Pitzel and the people of Tabby’s Place will always remember you!